Contributor: Ted Minnow
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There were two humans walking in the forest. They had penises. They were walking towards a house.
Sam: “Are we there yet?”
Lauren: “Yes.”
And they were. There was a house, right there in the forest. It had all the normal things houses did, except for a door or windows. It was made of concrete. Out of the house stepped a person. Sam and Lauren had come to see this person.
“Hello, people,” said the person.
“Hello, friend,” Sam and Lauren said at the same time.
“Yes, come in.” The person thought Sam and Lauren were pretentious to use that word, friend. They were not friends. None of them were friends. None of them had friends.
But Sam and Lauren did. They thought they had many friends. There was the person who gave them entrance to the forest. There was that tree who was alive. There was this person now, who had come out of the concrete house. And there was the one inside they had come to see. That was a friend, in there, they thought.
Inside the house they saw the person they had come to see. The person showed them to the person they had come to see. Sam and Lauren sat in front of the person and bowed, to show their difference.
“Did you enjoy the forest?” the person asked.
“It’s a nice forest.”
“It is. And it would be better with animals. But that is why we are here.”
“What do we call you?”
“I am the Master with an upper case M,” said the Master.
“Good,” said Lauren.
“Good,” said Sam.
“Have a drink,” said the Master. The Master thought Sam was odd and Lauren was a foil.
“Thank you,” they said. They had the drink.
“Now,” said the Master. “Do you have your penises?”
“Yes,” they said. They handed the Master their penises.
The Master took their penises and held them up to the light, then used a machine to measure their length, their thickness. The Master waved the penises around, hit them against the walls, smacked the penises with an open hand, then a closed hand. While doing this the Master thought about a forest, somewhere else, with ideal things, especially animals.
“Good,” the Master said. “Where did you get these penises?”
“We got them from the tree who was alive,” Sam said. Lauren nodded.
“Wait!” said the Master, throwing the penises on the floor, into the corner. “What did this tree look like?”
Sam and Lauren looked at each other. Then they said, “We can’t remember.”
“Remember! Remember! What did the tree look like? Describe the tree to me!” The Master came to them and shook them, angry and violent.
“We cannot remember. We did not see.”
The Master growled from the chest. “I cannot accept your penises. Leave this house. Leave this forest. Go find another forest to ruin with your tree penises!” The Master pointed out the door. Sam and Lauren left the house.
They walked back through the forest the way they had come. They got to the tree who lived and looked at it for the first time. Then they looked around at the forest, at all the things there, at all the things missing. They looked at each other.
“You have a freckle on your nose,” he said.
“You have brown hair,” she said.
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Theodore Kanbe is a student at the University of Wyoming. A native of Wyoming, he strives to write out his mind.
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There were two humans walking in the forest. They had penises. They were walking towards a house.
Sam: “Are we there yet?”
Lauren: “Yes.”
And they were. There was a house, right there in the forest. It had all the normal things houses did, except for a door or windows. It was made of concrete. Out of the house stepped a person. Sam and Lauren had come to see this person.
“Hello, people,” said the person.
“Hello, friend,” Sam and Lauren said at the same time.
“Yes, come in.” The person thought Sam and Lauren were pretentious to use that word, friend. They were not friends. None of them were friends. None of them had friends.
But Sam and Lauren did. They thought they had many friends. There was the person who gave them entrance to the forest. There was that tree who was alive. There was this person now, who had come out of the concrete house. And there was the one inside they had come to see. That was a friend, in there, they thought.
Inside the house they saw the person they had come to see. The person showed them to the person they had come to see. Sam and Lauren sat in front of the person and bowed, to show their difference.
“Did you enjoy the forest?” the person asked.
“It’s a nice forest.”
“It is. And it would be better with animals. But that is why we are here.”
“What do we call you?”
“I am the Master with an upper case M,” said the Master.
“Good,” said Lauren.
“Good,” said Sam.
“Have a drink,” said the Master. The Master thought Sam was odd and Lauren was a foil.
“Thank you,” they said. They had the drink.
“Now,” said the Master. “Do you have your penises?”
“Yes,” they said. They handed the Master their penises.
The Master took their penises and held them up to the light, then used a machine to measure their length, their thickness. The Master waved the penises around, hit them against the walls, smacked the penises with an open hand, then a closed hand. While doing this the Master thought about a forest, somewhere else, with ideal things, especially animals.
“Good,” the Master said. “Where did you get these penises?”
“We got them from the tree who was alive,” Sam said. Lauren nodded.
“Wait!” said the Master, throwing the penises on the floor, into the corner. “What did this tree look like?”
Sam and Lauren looked at each other. Then they said, “We can’t remember.”
“Remember! Remember! What did the tree look like? Describe the tree to me!” The Master came to them and shook them, angry and violent.
“We cannot remember. We did not see.”
The Master growled from the chest. “I cannot accept your penises. Leave this house. Leave this forest. Go find another forest to ruin with your tree penises!” The Master pointed out the door. Sam and Lauren left the house.
They walked back through the forest the way they had come. They got to the tree who lived and looked at it for the first time. Then they looked around at the forest, at all the things there, at all the things missing. They looked at each other.
“You have a freckle on your nose,” he said.
“You have brown hair,” she said.
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Theodore Kanbe is a student at the University of Wyoming. A native of Wyoming, he strives to write out his mind.
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Author:
Ted Minnow
