The Flasher Vampire

Contributor: Robert E. Petras - - I promised to give them something to remember at the Halloween party for the rest of their lives, me all dressed up as the Flasher Vampire. I’d swing open my Count Dracula cape and flash a big rubber dong and goose them all— Snow White and the Seven Dorks, the Mojo Man, Little Redneck Riding Hood, Prince Uncharming— showed them all, showed Charlie Chaplin some real slap-dick comedy as I dick-slapped the gal wearing the nun costume, all the time accosting them with my best Bela Lugosi “good evening,” “Good evening, princess, good evening, Amish Amy, good evening, your geekness and I’d flash and swing my rubber dong and once told the Genie if she rubbed it three times I’d grant her three wishes. Mullet Man I flashed, Wonder Bra Woman I flashed, I even flashed them the flesh, then I flashed my fangs --the...
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