Razor Dildo

Contributor: Paul Tristram

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The first time I saw it
it was graffitied on a bridge
and my cock instantly
spasmed into life.
I had to pull over
at the next rest stop
and skull-fuck my girlfriend
so hard that I’m pretty sure
that I actually went insane
for a second or two
as I shot my muck
down her throat.
Of course I had no idea
that the slogan was actually
about the jailed members
of a Russian Girl Punk Band.
I just saw those 3 words
painted on a bridge
and it was like crushing up
and snorting a whole tub
of Viagra (I would imagine?)
My girlfriend has even made
a special set of underwear
with it printed on
for when I’m not in the mood,
she’s clever like that.

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Paul Tristram is a Welsh writer who now lives on the Southern coast of Britain, has poems, short stories and sketches published in many publications around the world. He is the only man in Cornwall to be put on a 6 month Pub Watch Ban in 4 different towns on the same night. He likes to go moonbathing, does some tarot reading on the side and plays the harmonica naked.

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Author: Paul Tristram

Contributor: Paul Tristram

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I cut his face in one Welsh stripe,
Watched his mother cry "NO!" behind him,
I staggered backwards and dealt with the brothers.
The big bastard first
I pushed his mother into the gutter,
Kissed his sister
and walked into the road
Like the arrogant cunt I am!

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Paul Tristram: I’m a Welsh writer, who now lives by the coast in Cornwall. I have around 800 poems published and a handful of short stories and sketches in 13 different countries. I used to run the poetry magazine “In Between Hangovers”. I have recently quit drinking until I manage to pull my sanity back out of the well, its halfway back. I sometimes dress like a mannequin and turning your back and running away is foreplay where I come from!

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